Tuesday, March 30, 2004
What happened to me?
I just was checking my email and I got an email from my friend in Uganda, Africa. He is a missionary there and he runs two orphanages for children with aids. He sends out bulk emails that he calls journals and most of the time they make me cry. Well maybe not most of the time but they always stir my heart. Well todays that he sent was just a bunch of little ones that he never sent out and there was one that - well not just one but a few that just really stired something in me. Here I will copy it here -
Her laughter filled the car. Echoed through the house. Fluttered through the telephone. And sang from the pages of her letters.
Laughter billowed through her spirit—even as a breeze through the curtains of an open window.
Laughter lapped at the shores of her soul.
Laughter ministered from her oil of gladness.
It glistened from her garment of praise.
Laughter.
This sort of made me stop. What has happened to me? I don't know what has happened to me!! I remember I used to be like that. I never could stop laughing. Then it would infect others and we would all laugh together. Something has happened and I don't want it to stay this way. I want to be happy again and to laugh all the time. OH GOD help me. Change my heart my life! I don't want to be like this anymore!
Then there was this other one that was in Nathaniel's email...
"I had realized something revolutionary that day. You see, I knew in my heart that I had completely forgiven my friend.
And I knew that we would never be friends again.
And I knew that it was okay.
That it was even lovely—as forgiveness had used her power to paint beauty on tragedy’s canvass.
It was okay."
I hope that it will not be like this for me and Mike. I want to forgive him. I think I have but I don't know. But I don't want ot never be friends again. I have not had a friend like him before or since. He knew me so well. He knew when I needed to talk and he would wait till I could get it out. He would not let me leave until I had gotten whatever it was off my chest. I hated that at the time but now that I don't have it I miss it and I know that I needed it this whole time.
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Her laughter filled the car. Echoed through the house. Fluttered through the telephone. And sang from the pages of her letters.
Laughter billowed through her spirit—even as a breeze through the curtains of an open window.
Laughter lapped at the shores of her soul.
Laughter ministered from her oil of gladness.
It glistened from her garment of praise.
Laughter.
This sort of made me stop. What has happened to me? I don't know what has happened to me!! I remember I used to be like that. I never could stop laughing. Then it would infect others and we would all laugh together. Something has happened and I don't want it to stay this way. I want to be happy again and to laugh all the time. OH GOD help me. Change my heart my life! I don't want to be like this anymore!
Then there was this other one that was in Nathaniel's email...
"I had realized something revolutionary that day. You see, I knew in my heart that I had completely forgiven my friend.
And I knew that we would never be friends again.
And I knew that it was okay.
That it was even lovely—as forgiveness had used her power to paint beauty on tragedy’s canvass.
It was okay."
I hope that it will not be like this for me and Mike. I want to forgive him. I think I have but I don't know. But I don't want ot never be friends again. I have not had a friend like him before or since. He knew me so well. He knew when I needed to talk and he would wait till I could get it out. He would not let me leave until I had gotten whatever it was off my chest. I hated that at the time but now that I don't have it I miss it and I know that I needed it this whole time.
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