Saturday, May 29, 2004
Tugging to the 80's
I just got back from work. On Friday nights there is so much down time. The plane comes in and then we unload a few cans and then load up some empty cans in their place. Out of the few times that I have worked on Friday nights the most that we unload has been 6 cans. So then after that we do some other work and then we get to sit around for about three hours. Last week and this week I was practicing backing up a dolly behind my tug. Ernest taught me how to do it the easy way. It was really helpful. The whole time we were tugging we were listening to the radio and it was playing songs from the eighties. Ernest grew up in the 80's. I mean so did I but he was a teen ager in the 80's. So he likes that music. It wasn't too bad.
I have been thinking about Girlie and Jessi the past couple weeks. Last night Girlie called me and we talked for a while. She told me that she saw Mike and Katy. She said that Katy had gained weight and that she wouldn't even look at Girlie. I have talked to Aaron a lot this week also. He told me that Mike has been drinking a lot lately. I am sure that he is probably not getting drunk but still. When I would go places and my friends would get a drink I would take a sip and he would freak out. He would give me a big lecture. Now he is drinking all the time. I am so worried about him. It is not about me and him being together anymore. Now I am worried that he will not be happy. I know that if I am not doing what God has called me to do that I will not be happy. That I can not be happy. I know the potential that Mike has. I know that God wants to do amazing things in and through his life. I am worried that Mike has given up on his calling. I pray that God will speak to him and that he will listen. That Mike will remember his calling. Too much is at stake for him to forget. Too many lives at risk.
That brings me to the next thing. Nana. I feel really bad that I don't feel bad about her dying. I am almost certain that Nana was not a Christian and that she is most likely not with Jesus right now. What worries me is that I am not effected. I should be so heart broken for her. Lord give me more of a heart for your people. That I would not be so unaffected by this. I want to be distraught because if I am not then I will not work hard to show God's love to others. I hate feeling like this. I know that I did not do my job where Nana is concerned. God forgive me. Nana forgive me.
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I have been thinking about Girlie and Jessi the past couple weeks. Last night Girlie called me and we talked for a while. She told me that she saw Mike and Katy. She said that Katy had gained weight and that she wouldn't even look at Girlie. I have talked to Aaron a lot this week also. He told me that Mike has been drinking a lot lately. I am sure that he is probably not getting drunk but still. When I would go places and my friends would get a drink I would take a sip and he would freak out. He would give me a big lecture. Now he is drinking all the time. I am so worried about him. It is not about me and him being together anymore. Now I am worried that he will not be happy. I know that if I am not doing what God has called me to do that I will not be happy. That I can not be happy. I know the potential that Mike has. I know that God wants to do amazing things in and through his life. I am worried that Mike has given up on his calling. I pray that God will speak to him and that he will listen. That Mike will remember his calling. Too much is at stake for him to forget. Too many lives at risk.
That brings me to the next thing. Nana. I feel really bad that I don't feel bad about her dying. I am almost certain that Nana was not a Christian and that she is most likely not with Jesus right now. What worries me is that I am not effected. I should be so heart broken for her. Lord give me more of a heart for your people. That I would not be so unaffected by this. I want to be distraught because if I am not then I will not work hard to show God's love to others. I hate feeling like this. I know that I did not do my job where Nana is concerned. God forgive me. Nana forgive me.
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