Wednesday, June 30, 2004
I want to be immortal!
Ok, I don't want to live forever. That is not what I mean by being immortal. I just watched Big Fish today. It is a movie about a man who tells stories his whole life. His son is upset because he feels like he doesn't really know his father. He feels that all these stories are not true. Through out the move we learn of all these people that the dad comes into contact with and how he effects their lives. By the end of the movie the son realizes that these stories might not be that tall after all. I will not ruin the movie for you if you have not seen it but I want to be like this man. One that makes a difference in other peoples lives.
This movie also reminds me of a story that I heard from a speaker about his grandfather. The grandfather died and the speaker was at the funeral. There were so many people there. So many that he didn't even know half of them. He asked about some of the shady looking people and learned that his grandfather had made a difference in their lives that he had encouraged them not to give up and they ended up living a dream that they had not believed possible.
I want my life to make a difference. I want to tell stories of my live and those stories to live on in other people. I want to live on in the memory of others. I want people to tell stories of the day that they met a girl and how their lives were forever change because she had something that they wanted and she gave it to them.
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This movie also reminds me of a story that I heard from a speaker about his grandfather. The grandfather died and the speaker was at the funeral. There were so many people there. So many that he didn't even know half of them. He asked about some of the shady looking people and learned that his grandfather had made a difference in their lives that he had encouraged them not to give up and they ended up living a dream that they had not believed possible.
I want my life to make a difference. I want to tell stories of my live and those stories to live on in other people. I want to live on in the memory of others. I want people to tell stories of the day that they met a girl and how their lives were forever change because she had something that they wanted and she gave it to them.
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Justice, covenant, punishment?
Tonight at work I was talking to Adrian (who is Jehovah's witness) I was curious about what they believed about heaven and hell and who goes there. So I asked. He just asked me what the Bible said. I was kinda annoyed because I know what the Bible says but that was not what I was asking. I wanted to know what he believed.
Finally he kinda answered my question. He told me that they believed that there are 144,000 people who are chosen to be with God, or something. But the rest of the righteous went to live in the new earth after Armageddon.
I asked, "What about the people who are not righteous in God's sight, what about them?" He said he did not believe that there was a hell. He believed that those people just ceased to exist. He does not believe that it is in God's character to send people into eternal suffering.
This conversation got me thinking. I need to do another project like the one I did for exegesis class. This time about hell and heaven and who goes where. I was thinking about the covenant and how God is just and how we have an option to serve God or not to. If we choose otherwise thus breaking the covenant then we have to face the punishment. God does not put us in hell we put ourselves there. I guess I need to do some studying.
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Finally he kinda answered my question. He told me that they believed that there are 144,000 people who are chosen to be with God, or something. But the rest of the righteous went to live in the new earth after Armageddon.
I asked, "What about the people who are not righteous in God's sight, what about them?" He said he did not believe that there was a hell. He believed that those people just ceased to exist. He does not believe that it is in God's character to send people into eternal suffering.
This conversation got me thinking. I need to do another project like the one I did for exegesis class. This time about hell and heaven and who goes where. I was thinking about the covenant and how God is just and how we have an option to serve God or not to. If we choose otherwise thus breaking the covenant then we have to face the punishment. God does not put us in hell we put ourselves there. I guess I need to do some studying.
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Thursday, June 24, 2004
"I've been dating since I was 15! I'm tired! Where is he?"
Well I have not been dating since I was 15, this is just a quote from my new favorite TV show Sex and the City. Since watching this show I been wondering if I am going to end up like these ladies in the show. Except without all the sex. God has been trying to tell me that I need to be patient and not worry because he has my life in his hands. I am not really worried because I am not really into getting married right now or even having a boyfriend. Anyways...
Small group was last night. It was great. I love those kids. I can't help but smile all day long thinking about them. I also love my worship team. They are growing so much as musicians and worshiper. Jose is growing so much as a worship leader. I hope that he will feel more confident about leading worship and believe that God has called him to this. At least that is what I think. I hope God thinks so too.
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Small group was last night. It was great. I love those kids. I can't help but smile all day long thinking about them. I also love my worship team. They are growing so much as musicians and worshiper. Jose is growing so much as a worship leader. I hope that he will feel more confident about leading worship and believe that God has called him to this. At least that is what I think. I hope God thinks so too.
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Monday, June 21, 2004
Thailand? Can I go?
I am praying about going to Thailand with Liz for a week and a half or two. I am not getting any thing that seems like a no. But I am waiting for an ok on time off from work and a good price on a plain ticket. I am hoping that it will work out I am really excited if I get to go.
If anybody is reading this please pray for me to find a cheap ticket if I am to go; for me to know if I can go or not; for me to be able to find a car, because the money I would use to go would be my car money. Anyways please pray so that I know what to do.
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If anybody is reading this please pray for me to find a cheap ticket if I am to go; for me to know if I can go or not; for me to be able to find a car, because the money I would use to go would be my car money. Anyways please pray so that I know what to do.
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Wednesday, June 16, 2004
I am worth fighting for!
"You take too long to think about things. She can talk about it right away. If I tell you there is something wrong with you, you get offended. She tries to change. I don't feel like I can talk to you. I can tell her anything. You are too stubborn. Stop nagging me!"
In other words it was my fault. That is what he was trying to say. It was too hard for him to make it work. Love does not matter anymore. I was not worth fighting for. That is what he was trying to say. He wanted a clear conscience. Put it on her then I can escape from the guilt.
Well, I am learning that it was not my fault. I am worth fighting for. There is nothing wrong with me. I have a good heart! Not a bad heart. Not a hard heart. But one that is beautiful. One that is lovable. One that is worth fighting for. If he is not willing to fight for me then he is too lazy. There is one that will fight for me. There is one that thinks I am worth it. No worries. No worries!
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Tuesday, June 15, 2004
I never had a conversation like this before!
I was at work last night and I was in plane (I wish I could find a picture so that you can see what I am talking about) and so was Jeff. He has been gone from work for awhile and before that we were working in different areas so we hardly ever saw each other. So last night we worked together and I told him how I got my pants...My sister and I were driving down the road and we stopped at a stop light and I told my sister to open her door and pick up the jeans that were on the ground. So she did and then I told her to check the pockets for money. No luck there but they were a couple sizes too big for me but they could be held up with a belt. So now I have new work pants! For free!...Then I told him the story how my brother got a new pair of Abercrombie and Fitch shorts from a guy at the airport. The guy paid him $25 dollars for his junky Ross jeans that he got a couple years ago...That was when Jeff said, "I never had a conversation like this before!"
Later in the night, we were standing around waiting and we started talking and he started saying stuff about God and how he thinks that God makes us do everything. I told him that I thought that we had free will. Then he said that God created our brains and our conscience and so that is His way of controlling us. The whole time he was talking I kept on asking God what to say to Jeff. I knew this was an opportunity. Then Jeff was saying that he thought that he didn't need to go to church. He thinks its good for people who get out of jail and need to keep their lives on track.
Then he asked me why do I go to church. Why do I get up at six o'clock in the morning to go to church. I didn't really know what to say. Why do I go to church? Why do I give so much of my time to do all this stuff? Why do I get up so early on Sundays to go to church? I had stopped to think all this and Jeff made a buzzer sound like he was saying, "Bad answer." I told him that I go that early so that I can make a difference in the kids lives in my youth group. He said there are kids all over the place why do you have to do it at church. Why not go to Africa? I told him that I did and that is what I want to do with my life. Then I told him that the reason that I go to church is because of the love that God has for me. That I had a boyfriend and that he loved me and I couldn't imagine any love greater that my boyfriend's but God proved to me that His love was greater than my boyfriend's. That God's love for me was so great that I couldn't explain it. Then Jeff said, "Lots of stuff is hard to explain." Then he walked away and sat down and our conversation was over.
I felt really bad afterward. I felt like I had failed God in this opportunity that He had given me to make a difference in Jeff's life. I was stumped, I didn't know what to say. I didn't know why I went to church. I need to be more on my toes. I need to be ready at any time. You never know when you will need to tell somebody something. It is important to know why you are a Christian.
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Later in the night, we were standing around waiting and we started talking and he started saying stuff about God and how he thinks that God makes us do everything. I told him that I thought that we had free will. Then he said that God created our brains and our conscience and so that is His way of controlling us. The whole time he was talking I kept on asking God what to say to Jeff. I knew this was an opportunity. Then Jeff was saying that he thought that he didn't need to go to church. He thinks its good for people who get out of jail and need to keep their lives on track.
Then he asked me why do I go to church. Why do I get up at six o'clock in the morning to go to church. I didn't really know what to say. Why do I go to church? Why do I give so much of my time to do all this stuff? Why do I get up so early on Sundays to go to church? I had stopped to think all this and Jeff made a buzzer sound like he was saying, "Bad answer." I told him that I go that early so that I can make a difference in the kids lives in my youth group. He said there are kids all over the place why do you have to do it at church. Why not go to Africa? I told him that I did and that is what I want to do with my life. Then I told him that the reason that I go to church is because of the love that God has for me. That I had a boyfriend and that he loved me and I couldn't imagine any love greater that my boyfriend's but God proved to me that His love was greater than my boyfriend's. That God's love for me was so great that I couldn't explain it. Then Jeff said, "Lots of stuff is hard to explain." Then he walked away and sat down and our conversation was over.
I felt really bad afterward. I felt like I had failed God in this opportunity that He had given me to make a difference in Jeff's life. I was stumped, I didn't know what to say. I didn't know why I went to church. I need to be more on my toes. I need to be ready at any time. You never know when you will need to tell somebody something. It is important to know why you are a Christian.
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Saturday, June 12, 2004
Making a difference?
Sometimes I wonder if I make a difference in this world. Sometimes I worry that I don't or that when I do it is a negative difference. I live my life and I am myself and I don't care what others think (or maybe I do and don't tell myself that). Sometimes I think that my personality turns people away and I don't know. But I worry sometimes.
Then something happens... For example... In my indi rock band we got a new keyboard player and I have only seen her twice the whole time. The first day that I met her was the day before finals week started and I was out of school on May 19th. I know some of you hate me for that. Anyways, I talked to her awhile about life in general and what I want to do with my life. (For those of you who don't know I want to be a missionary). Then I saw her for the second time and it was last Sunday almost a week ago and a month after the first time I met her. She walks into the practice room and looks at me and the first thing out of her mouth is, "I just wanted you to know that ever since I met you God has put a desire in my heart to be a missionary. That is all I think about. Just so you know you are making a difference." I was kinda shocked.
Another example... There is a lady at my work (I think that I have talked about her before) and this past week at work she told me about a problem that she and her husband are having. They are trying to decide whether to take in there sister and her three kids. She explained it too me and how she felt and I told her that if what she was feeling was what I thought she was feeling that it was probably God. I gave her the verse Matthew 25:34-40 which says...
That will be all for now. Later days...
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Then something happens... For example... In my indi rock band we got a new keyboard player and I have only seen her twice the whole time. The first day that I met her was the day before finals week started and I was out of school on May 19th. I know some of you hate me for that. Anyways, I talked to her awhile about life in general and what I want to do with my life. (For those of you who don't know I want to be a missionary). Then I saw her for the second time and it was last Sunday almost a week ago and a month after the first time I met her. She walks into the practice room and looks at me and the first thing out of her mouth is, "I just wanted you to know that ever since I met you God has put a desire in my heart to be a missionary. That is all I think about. Just so you know you are making a difference." I was kinda shocked.
Another example... There is a lady at my work (I think that I have talked about her before) and this past week at work she told me about a problem that she and her husband are having. They are trying to decide whether to take in there sister and her three kids. She explained it too me and how she felt and I told her that if what she was feeling was what I thought she was feeling that it was probably God. I gave her the verse Matthew 25:34-40 which says...
"Then the King will say to those on His right, 'Come, you who are blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. 'For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.' "Then the righteous will answer Him, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink? 'And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You? 'When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?'" The King will answer and say to them, 'Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.'...Then two nights ago we were talking and she told me that they were going to take them in. I just smiled. She asked what verse I had given her and then she told me that she was talking to her mom and that every time she was at her lowest I was there. That she would be alone at work somewhere and I would show up and talk to her. She thought that was weird in a good sort of way. Ernest was kinda shocked about that.
That will be all for now. Later days...
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Tuesday, June 01, 2004
What to do?
Tomorrow is small group and I have no idea what we are going to talk about! I need to hear from God. Maybe I should be praying right now instead of writing this.
My family came in on Sunday. I was so excited. We have hung out a lot since they have been here. Tomorrow my siblings and I are going to rent a surfboard and be at the beach all day. Then I will have to go to small group. Again I have a dilemma. What to do?
I have kinda been overwhelmed this week. My family puts out this really intense energy. I don't really know how to explain it. But I get really overwhelmed. I really love my family I just wish that they could relax a little bit.
We walked down Waikiki tonight because we had a luau there and there were all the people out there playing music and dancing and all that. I thought to myself that I should take my guitar there and play and keep the case open for money. I could make some you know. That would be fun.
Well I think that I have been rambling through this whole post so I think that I will stop now. Since I didn't have anything interesting to say in the first place. Hope you weren't bored.
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My family came in on Sunday. I was so excited. We have hung out a lot since they have been here. Tomorrow my siblings and I are going to rent a surfboard and be at the beach all day. Then I will have to go to small group. Again I have a dilemma. What to do?
I have kinda been overwhelmed this week. My family puts out this really intense energy. I don't really know how to explain it. But I get really overwhelmed. I really love my family I just wish that they could relax a little bit.
We walked down Waikiki tonight because we had a luau there and there were all the people out there playing music and dancing and all that. I thought to myself that I should take my guitar there and play and keep the case open for money. I could make some you know. That would be fun.
Well I think that I have been rambling through this whole post so I think that I will stop now. Since I didn't have anything interesting to say in the first place. Hope you weren't bored.
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