Thursday, July 15, 2004
Living in the moment.
I have been thinking, thanks to Bats blog, see link to the left.
What if someone gave you $86,400 everyday. There were no strings attached except that you had to spend every dime of it that day. There is no roll over. You can only spend it that day. But the next day you get $86,400 to spend. Well this is what it is like in life. We are given 86,400 seconds every day and we have to spend them that day. Only one chance to use them. Live those seconds!
How do you live in the moment? You cannot catch the present because it is continually vanishing. So it seems that this makes it very hard to live in the moment. I want to live in the moment. I don't want a second to pass without me taking advantage of it.
You are only given one chance to live each second. You cannot rewind and try again. I know it kinda seems very picky to try to live each second to grieve for lost time. But think about - if you add up all the seconds that you waste each day during your whole life I am sure that we waste away years of our lives.
I think that sometimes I live in the moment when I at at small group. Now when I am talking or what ever but when I just sit back and watch my small group kids. When they sing, when the give each other advice, when they dance, when they joke and laugh. Sometimes I just sit there and watch. I watch then interact with each other, I watch them love and care for each other. I don't even know how to explain what I fell when I am there. I think that that might be part of living in the moment.
People always say I wish I would have made more of my life, I wish that I was younger, I wish I had traveled, I wish I had made a difference, I wish I wish. Stop wishing and start living! Start living!! Make something of your life, book a flight and go somewhere, make a difference in someone's life. Go Go Go!
How do you take advantage of each second? I don't know. How do you live in the moment? I don't know. But try!
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What if someone gave you $86,400 everyday. There were no strings attached except that you had to spend every dime of it that day. There is no roll over. You can only spend it that day. But the next day you get $86,400 to spend. Well this is what it is like in life. We are given 86,400 seconds every day and we have to spend them that day. Only one chance to use them. Live those seconds!
How do you live in the moment? You cannot catch the present because it is continually vanishing. So it seems that this makes it very hard to live in the moment. I want to live in the moment. I don't want a second to pass without me taking advantage of it.
You are only given one chance to live each second. You cannot rewind and try again. I know it kinda seems very picky to try to live each second to grieve for lost time. But think about - if you add up all the seconds that you waste each day during your whole life I am sure that we waste away years of our lives.
I think that sometimes I live in the moment when I at at small group. Now when I am talking or what ever but when I just sit back and watch my small group kids. When they sing, when the give each other advice, when they dance, when they joke and laugh. Sometimes I just sit there and watch. I watch then interact with each other, I watch them love and care for each other. I don't even know how to explain what I fell when I am there. I think that that might be part of living in the moment.
People always say I wish I would have made more of my life, I wish that I was younger, I wish I had traveled, I wish I had made a difference, I wish I wish. Stop wishing and start living! Start living!! Make something of your life, book a flight and go somewhere, make a difference in someone's life. Go Go Go!
How do you take advantage of each second? I don't know. How do you live in the moment? I don't know. But try!
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Monday, July 12, 2004
Missions $$$
Today I applied for the Short Term missions scholarship at my school. Dr. B approved it and they will be giving me the money later today. When Dr.B was reading my app. He found out that I want to be a full time missionary. Meaning I would love to live on the mission field. He then told me that they are working on a scholarship for students who want to be full time missionaries. I asked what for and he said tuition! $1000 off tuition would be so great. I hope that they work this out before next semester. God is so good. He always takes care of me. That money would be so helpful for me. I was thinking that maybe I should be an intern so that they would help me with tuition but I didn't like the idea of signing my life away to them. I also wanted to keep my job. So, if this scholarship thing works out then I won't have to worry about it. Wow, that is so great.
Yesterday, after church I told my high school worship team boys that I had to go to band practice with Harrison. They got really excited and asked if they could come too. I called Miles and he said, "shoots". So the five boys and I went first to my house. They loved it. It was funny to me how they liked my house. Some of them were like, "I want a place like this!" I had them sign my bathroom wall. They are funny kids. Then we went to Waiola's for shave ice which is always good. Then we finally made it to band practice. I was worried that they would be bored. They kinda looked bored but afterwards they were so stoked. They were so excited. After Harrison was done practicing the worship team got to play for them. Harrison was impressed with Jared's drumming. They thought that we had alot of potential. My boys want to come again. I was glad that they liked it. They were so pumped up that they went to Jose's house to practice afterwards. They really are great kids. I will miss them so much while I am gone.
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Yesterday, after church I told my high school worship team boys that I had to go to band practice with Harrison. They got really excited and asked if they could come too. I called Miles and he said, "shoots". So the five boys and I went first to my house. They loved it. It was funny to me how they liked my house. Some of them were like, "I want a place like this!" I had them sign my bathroom wall. They are funny kids. Then we went to Waiola's for shave ice which is always good. Then we finally made it to band practice. I was worried that they would be bored. They kinda looked bored but afterwards they were so stoked. They were so excited. After Harrison was done practicing the worship team got to play for them. Harrison was impressed with Jared's drumming. They thought that we had alot of potential. My boys want to come again. I was glad that they liked it. They were so pumped up that they went to Jose's house to practice afterwards. They really are great kids. I will miss them so much while I am gone.
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Friday, July 09, 2004
The legacy of the pins... Gone!
I have had my purse since Christmas 2001. My sister gave it to me because I needed a purse for my trip to Africa. (I normally didn't use a purse) The purse was a Dickies gray corduroy. It was perfect for me. Returning from Africa I was surprised to find that I continued to use it, which was a first for me.
Upon my return I started to collect pins and I would place them on my purse. The collection started on the small little pins and I would put them on the strap of the purse. That was all I wanted, was small pins for the strap. Then my friends started to give me pins that were too big for the strap so I didn't want to be rude so I put them on the bag itself. I think that I have collected about 60 pins and they were all on my purse.
The tragic part of the story. The whole reason for this story in the first place is that I found out today that my purse was stolen. Along with all the pins. Some of those pins had sentimental value for me. (The last thing that the man I love gave me was a pin. My sister asked a bass player of a band for one of his pins, the Amelie one, the "I am loved" and the "I caught you picking your nose" pins that my bestfriend Girlie gave me.)
I guess I was just stupid enough to leave my purse in the car. They also took the sweatshirt that was on top of the purse hiding it. Why didn't I lock the car you ask? Well the car needs to be sent into Pimp my Ride. But seeing as we don't live in So Cal we aren't allowed. The previous owner of the car was a druggy and the cops came and performed a drug bust on the car. Thus removing anything that is remotely removable. So I guess I am saying all this just to say the car is not lockable.
I just finished canceling my credit card. I hope whoever took my purse did not use it before I had the chance to put a block on the account.
The Legacy of the Pins...Gone.
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Upon my return I started to collect pins and I would place them on my purse. The collection started on the small little pins and I would put them on the strap of the purse. That was all I wanted, was small pins for the strap. Then my friends started to give me pins that were too big for the strap so I didn't want to be rude so I put them on the bag itself. I think that I have collected about 60 pins and they were all on my purse.
The tragic part of the story. The whole reason for this story in the first place is that I found out today that my purse was stolen. Along with all the pins. Some of those pins had sentimental value for me. (The last thing that the man I love gave me was a pin. My sister asked a bass player of a band for one of his pins, the Amelie one, the "I am loved" and the "I caught you picking your nose" pins that my bestfriend Girlie gave me.)
I guess I was just stupid enough to leave my purse in the car. They also took the sweatshirt that was on top of the purse hiding it. Why didn't I lock the car you ask? Well the car needs to be sent into Pimp my Ride. But seeing as we don't live in So Cal we aren't allowed. The previous owner of the car was a druggy and the cops came and performed a drug bust on the car. Thus removing anything that is remotely removable. So I guess I am saying all this just to say the car is not lockable.
I just finished canceling my credit card. I hope whoever took my purse did not use it before I had the chance to put a block on the account.
The Legacy of the Pins...Gone.
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OH Cliffie!
I just got off the phone with my brother and he was telling me that he hates the place where he does his stand up comedy.
This place has a class that the owner puts on. If you are in the class then you are guaranteed a slot on the open mic night. Well my brother has been doing this for about a year now and he is really funny. He does a really good job. Since he has started doing this another guy who is about 9 years older than him has come along and he is not funny at all but for some reason the owner likes him.
Three weeks ago another guy who happens to be 9 years older than my brother also has come along and he is not very funny. But he sucks up to the owner and takes him out to eat and who knows what else.
Well the other day this new guy comes up to my brother and tries to give him "advise" and says, "It's not about how funny you are but it's all about who you know. You need to be a kiss ass." My brother tells him that he is a faggot and that he would "Rather make it in comedy because I am funny than the quality of my BJ's!". Ha! After he told me this I couldn't help but laugh for a really long time.
Well these two new guys are touring with the owner of the comedy club and going to bars. Well guess what my brother sent in a tape of his routine to the San Jose Improve and he is now on the list for the 21st of this month. If anyone happens to be in the Bay Area the 21st of July go and see him. He is good.
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This place has a class that the owner puts on. If you are in the class then you are guaranteed a slot on the open mic night. Well my brother has been doing this for about a year now and he is really funny. He does a really good job. Since he has started doing this another guy who is about 9 years older than him has come along and he is not funny at all but for some reason the owner likes him.
Three weeks ago another guy who happens to be 9 years older than my brother also has come along and he is not very funny. But he sucks up to the owner and takes him out to eat and who knows what else.
Well the other day this new guy comes up to my brother and tries to give him "advise" and says, "It's not about how funny you are but it's all about who you know. You need to be a kiss ass." My brother tells him that he is a faggot and that he would "Rather make it in comedy because I am funny than the quality of my BJ's!". Ha! After he told me this I couldn't help but laugh for a really long time.
Well these two new guys are touring with the owner of the comedy club and going to bars. Well guess what my brother sent in a tape of his routine to the San Jose Improve and he is now on the list for the 21st of this month. If anyone happens to be in the Bay Area the 21st of July go and see him. He is good.
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Thursday, July 08, 2004
Why does life suck?
Why does life suck? That is the question of this post.
Why do bad things happen to us? Why do loved ones die? Mom gets cancer and leaves behind a dad and three kids to fend for themselves. Your dog gets hit by a car, your cat's lungs fills up with puss and suffocates on your lap on the way to the vet.
Your girlfriend cheats on you, your boyfriend leaves you for another girl, your bestfriend, who said they would always be there for you, doesn't want anything to do with you. Your parents tell you you are good for nothing. Your siblings tell you they hate you and they mean it.
How do we react to these tragedies in our lives? Some cut themselves. Others try to sleep their lives away, cry cry cry, move on and bury it and pretend nothing is the matter, suicide, depression, loneliness, work work work, yell at anyone who happens to be within hearing distance, kick the dog, beat your kids, become a hermit.
Why do bad things happen?
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Why do bad things happen to us? Why do loved ones die? Mom gets cancer and leaves behind a dad and three kids to fend for themselves. Your dog gets hit by a car, your cat's lungs fills up with puss and suffocates on your lap on the way to the vet.
Your girlfriend cheats on you, your boyfriend leaves you for another girl, your bestfriend, who said they would always be there for you, doesn't want anything to do with you. Your parents tell you you are good for nothing. Your siblings tell you they hate you and they mean it.
How do we react to these tragedies in our lives? Some cut themselves. Others try to sleep their lives away, cry cry cry, move on and bury it and pretend nothing is the matter, suicide, depression, loneliness, work work work, yell at anyone who happens to be within hearing distance, kick the dog, beat your kids, become a hermit.
Why do bad things happen?
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A tangled mess!
Tonight I had small group with my kids. It was great as always. We had so much food. Jose brought an ice-cream cake. Nat brought homemade pizza. I brought chips. Chris and David's mom provided doughnut holes and crab dip. (great combination).
We talked about masks and why or why not we want to wear them. We talked about superheros and how they were masks to hide who they are. How hockey players where masks to protect themselves. But sometime when the hockey players wear the masks it distorts their vision.
I tried to encourage them to not wear masks to be themselves. We talked about how to take off the masks and how hard that is. When one takes off a mask that they have been wearing it causes them to be vulnerable. Sometimes people might not accept who you really are. But is it worth someone liking you for who you are not or would you rather wait for someone to like you for you.
How do you take off the masks? Well Tasha said that we need to embrace the truth and to get rid of the lies that we live. Once you have put on masks it is hard to take them off because life becomes a tangled mess.
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We talked about masks and why or why not we want to wear them. We talked about superheros and how they were masks to hide who they are. How hockey players where masks to protect themselves. But sometime when the hockey players wear the masks it distorts their vision.
I tried to encourage them to not wear masks to be themselves. We talked about how to take off the masks and how hard that is. When one takes off a mask that they have been wearing it causes them to be vulnerable. Sometimes people might not accept who you really are. But is it worth someone liking you for who you are not or would you rather wait for someone to like you for you.
How do you take off the masks? Well Tasha said that we need to embrace the truth and to get rid of the lies that we live. Once you have put on masks it is hard to take them off because life becomes a tangled mess.
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Tuesday, July 06, 2004
God always provides!
I know, I know, some of you are thinking, "This girl is too religious for me!" Well I just want to clear this up. Just because God's name is mentioned does not mean that it has anything to do with religion. What I am going to say in this post right now has nothing to do with religion.
As most of you know I am going to Thailand and I was going to use half of my money for my car. I knew that God was going to provide although now I don't have hardly any money for my car He told me not to worry. So I didn't. I went to work at the church today. (My school and church offices are all in the same building.) And I went into the school office to get some paper work and I told them that I was going to Thailand. They told me that there was still money in the scholarship fund for missions and all I had to do was fill out an app. And they would approve it!
This is so awesome because now I will only have to spend 1/4 of the money that I have saved for my car instead of half. God told me that He was going to provide and He did.
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As most of you know I am going to Thailand and I was going to use half of my money for my car. I knew that God was going to provide although now I don't have hardly any money for my car He told me not to worry. So I didn't. I went to work at the church today. (My school and church offices are all in the same building.) And I went into the school office to get some paper work and I told them that I was going to Thailand. They told me that there was still money in the scholarship fund for missions and all I had to do was fill out an app. And they would approve it!
This is so awesome because now I will only have to spend 1/4 of the money that I have saved for my car instead of half. God told me that He was going to provide and He did.
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Monday, July 05, 2004
When Harry met Sally
I know, I know it's pathetic but this weekend was my first time seeing this movie. I think that it is turning into one of my favorite movies.
This movie talks about how men and women cannot be friends. Harry says that you can't befriends with the opposite sex because the sex always gets in the way. Sally disagrees as do I. I have mostly guy friends and I have never had sex. Harry tells Sally that she only thinks that sex is not a problem but all the guys want to do her anyways it is just a fact.
I didn't agree then I was talking to one of my guy friends and he told me about when he was moving from the mainland to Hawaii that he made out with this girl that he didn't like but she liked him. He told me that she kissed him and he just kissed her back. I asked why would he want to kiss her if he didn't like her. He said that he had a hard time saying no. I asked why and he said that all guys have a hard time saying no...interesting.
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This movie talks about how men and women cannot be friends. Harry says that you can't befriends with the opposite sex because the sex always gets in the way. Sally disagrees as do I. I have mostly guy friends and I have never had sex. Harry tells Sally that she only thinks that sex is not a problem but all the guys want to do her anyways it is just a fact.
I didn't agree then I was talking to one of my guy friends and he told me about when he was moving from the mainland to Hawaii that he made out with this girl that he didn't like but she liked him. He told me that she kissed him and he just kissed her back. I asked why would he want to kiss her if he didn't like her. He said that he had a hard time saying no. I asked why and he said that all guys have a hard time saying no...interesting.
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Vibe, bubble tea, bird poop and painting
This weekend my band had two shows. One was at Hickum Airforce Base and the other was in Mililani at a guys house for his birthday.
The Hickum show was really good. There didn't seem to be that many people but there was I guess because the area was really big and everyone was spread out. The stage was overlooking the turquoise beach. It was really pretty. We got a lot of positive comments from the MC lady. That was cool. The other bands that were watching us told us that they thought that we had a really cool "vibe" going. Ok, that's cool I guess.
Then last night the show was at this guys house. We got to eat the food and drink the drinks that was fun. Before hand Miles and Randall and I went to this shave ice place, and can you believe it I did not get shave ice!!! I got a bubble tea. It was really good. I had never had one before. Before small group I am on my way to get one!!!! Just before we left there I looked down at my batman converse shoes, thank God that it happened on the rubber part, and there was bird poop just sitting there. Anyways back to the show - the show was kinda discouraging because there was no feedback from the crowd. We even asked if we sounded good and they just sat there. It was really weird. Whatever. Then I was packing up with Martin and Jen at there car and we were talking about that and some of the kids were walking past and heard me make a comment and they said to us that we were good. I don't know if they were just saying that or what.
Before the show and after the bubble tea the band and Jen went to Miles house. I got to meet Miles brother, who the band is named after, and his mom. I had met his step dad before. His stepdad is cool. He gave me too fresh, as in just out of the oven fresh, cookies. That was cool. Their house is decorated really nice and the walls are painted cool colors. I told his mom if she ever needed help painting that I was interested. I love painting walls. I hope she takes me up on that offer.
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The Hickum show was really good. There didn't seem to be that many people but there was I guess because the area was really big and everyone was spread out. The stage was overlooking the turquoise beach. It was really pretty. We got a lot of positive comments from the MC lady. That was cool. The other bands that were watching us told us that they thought that we had a really cool "vibe" going. Ok, that's cool I guess.
Then last night the show was at this guys house. We got to eat the food and drink the drinks that was fun. Before hand Miles and Randall and I went to this shave ice place, and can you believe it I did not get shave ice!!! I got a bubble tea. It was really good. I had never had one before. Before small group I am on my way to get one!!!! Just before we left there I looked down at my batman converse shoes, thank God that it happened on the rubber part, and there was bird poop just sitting there. Anyways back to the show - the show was kinda discouraging because there was no feedback from the crowd. We even asked if we sounded good and they just sat there. It was really weird. Whatever. Then I was packing up with Martin and Jen at there car and we were talking about that and some of the kids were walking past and heard me make a comment and they said to us that we were good. I don't know if they were just saying that or what.
Before the show and after the bubble tea the band and Jen went to Miles house. I got to meet Miles brother, who the band is named after, and his mom. I had met his step dad before. His stepdad is cool. He gave me too fresh, as in just out of the oven fresh, cookies. That was cool. Their house is decorated really nice and the walls are painted cool colors. I told his mom if she ever needed help painting that I was interested. I love painting walls. I hope she takes me up on that offer.
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Friday, July 02, 2004
Fire truck, Mabuhay, drunkard
Well, life has been kinda exciting lately. Not really but kinda. Yesterday I had to go to the bank to get money to buy my plane ticket. I walk into the bank and fill out my slips and stand in line. Then I see a lady laying on her side and all her grocery bags are scattered around her. There is a haole lady (white lady) and she is bent down in front of her and is saying, "You are really out of it right now." The lady on the ground is staring into space. I get to the front and get my money and asked what happened. The teller tells me that she passed out. It turns out that she is diabetic and had taken her insulin and had not eaten. I left the bank, when I get to the parking lot and it was full of fire trucks and ambulances. Well actually there was only one of each but the parking lot is small and they filled it up.
Then my sister and I went to China town to buy stuff for her to take to her friends back home because she leaves tomorrow. So we hadn't eaten yet so we stop at Mabuhay a Filipino restaurant. We walk in and the place was packed and everybody stops and looks at us. The place gets quiet. (It is times like this that I remember that I am white and am a minority here. I am used to being around people of other races and that being normal so when everybody stops to stare at me I remember that I am different.) So we have a few seconds of being uncomfortable and sit down at a table. We talk to the man sitting next to us he gives us tips on what to buy. We got some chicken thing and pork adobo. It was really good. The guys who were eating were selecting songs from the jukebox and most of them my sister would know so she would start singing along or lip sinking and dancing in her chair. The Filipino guys really got a kick out of it. Then they went and picked another song and put in extra money and asked Sarah to pick a song. So she went and found the song she wanted but she didn't really know what she was doing and she punched in the wrong number and some other song that she did not know came on. The funny thing was that all the guys in the place knew the song. It was kinda funny.
Then we left there and went to the market place and as we stop at the first little booth we hear some yelling. It was a man. I think that he was drunk and he was yelling at someone and telling them that he did not do drugs. We don't know why he was mad but everybody stopped to look at him. There was a white guy in a baby blue visor and for some reason the drunk man did not like him so he was yelling at him, "He you whitey! I am going to rip your eyes out!" or something.
I just can't help but think that there is always excitement where ever I go. Always things are happening. Not normal everyday things but strange weird things. Maybe I just attract weirdness. Maybe... just maybe.
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Then my sister and I went to China town to buy stuff for her to take to her friends back home because she leaves tomorrow. So we hadn't eaten yet so we stop at Mabuhay a Filipino restaurant. We walk in and the place was packed and everybody stops and looks at us. The place gets quiet. (It is times like this that I remember that I am white and am a minority here. I am used to being around people of other races and that being normal so when everybody stops to stare at me I remember that I am different.) So we have a few seconds of being uncomfortable and sit down at a table. We talk to the man sitting next to us he gives us tips on what to buy. We got some chicken thing and pork adobo. It was really good. The guys who were eating were selecting songs from the jukebox and most of them my sister would know so she would start singing along or lip sinking and dancing in her chair. The Filipino guys really got a kick out of it. Then they went and picked another song and put in extra money and asked Sarah to pick a song. So she went and found the song she wanted but she didn't really know what she was doing and she punched in the wrong number and some other song that she did not know came on. The funny thing was that all the guys in the place knew the song. It was kinda funny.
Then we left there and went to the market place and as we stop at the first little booth we hear some yelling. It was a man. I think that he was drunk and he was yelling at someone and telling them that he did not do drugs. We don't know why he was mad but everybody stopped to look at him. There was a white guy in a baby blue visor and for some reason the drunk man did not like him so he was yelling at him, "He you whitey! I am going to rip your eyes out!" or something.
I just can't help but think that there is always excitement where ever I go. Always things are happening. Not normal everyday things but strange weird things. Maybe I just attract weirdness. Maybe... just maybe.
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